Rememberance -

80th Birthday - June 7, 2005

....a few years earlier...

January 27, 2009

Thinkin' Thankful Thoughts

Pat and Jerry are working hard at getting Mom’s condo ready for its new owners. I am very thankful for their willingness to get in and get this done as quickly as possible!!

As I look back over the past 3 years I realize there are so many reasons to be thankful for my family. Even though we don’t always work together or plan what is to happen next it always seems to fall into place. All of us have put in some busy days, weeks and sometimes even months. I realize that I don’t know everything that everyone has done and this isn’t meant to be an accurate accounting or attempt to 'keep track'; but I am aware that we have all contributed a great deal and for that I want to say “Thank You” to my sisters and brother.

Three years ago when Mom had her first surgery Pat and Dianne spent long hours at the hospital. Dianne moved in with Mom working from “home” (away-from-home) to keep up with her paying job while tending to Mom’s needs during recovery.

Bruce has been there off and on (sometimes more on than off) as Mom needed someone to take her to the doctor; sit at the hospital with her for hours on end; or be at her bedside at home when she was unable to care for herself.

Others were there too; Joe and Kari, Irene and Jo, Jay, Doral and Leah, to mention a few. They ran errands, cooked for her, took her to the doctor, stayed with her and provided care and comfort when it was needed. We are fortunate that Mom had so many close friends and extended family members who were willing to be there when none of us “kids” were available.

I gave Dianne a couple of breaks during the first recovery time and she did the same for me after Mom’s surgery last summer.

I came back home before Mom was ready to travel, so Dianne and her friend Janie packed her up and drove her to Dianne’s for a short stay. Then John bought Mom south and we headed north meeting up in the middle to get Mom & a pickup full of her belongings moved to our house.

Pat & Dianne with help from Jerry, John & Erich cleaned out and packed up Mom’s belongings when she decided the move to California was going to be permanent. Then Jerry and Pat drove the rental truck down here, unloaded it and helped get the bigger items put in place for Mom’s use.

Bruce and Joe cleaned, painted and did repairs to the condo so it could be listed for sale.

Dianne & John dropped everything and came as soon as we got the diagnosis that the cancer was back and untreatable. They were here within a day. Then Dianne came again when I was in desperate need of a break.

Near the end Bruce came for a weekend but stayed for a full week when he realized how close the end was, and that I couldn’t handle the lifting and being up at all hours of the night on my own.

When it came time to plan a Memorial service John was on top of it. Everyone contributed and it was an amazing tribute to our Mother, Mother-in-Law, Grandmother.

Since then Jerry and Pat have carried the brunt of the burden; replacing carpeting and cleaning up the condo, dealing with the realtor and now doing a lot of minor repairs and arranging for other things to be done by professionals.

None of us could have done all of this on our own and fortunately no one had to try. Thanks everyone for being there and doing what needed to be done.

Mom stuff

June 7th - Mom's birthday; today is our first one without her. Fortunately we have some good ones to look back on.

Five years ago today we were all on an Alaskan cruise, celebrating her 79th birthday. If you look closely at the bottom of the photo you can see the candle on the cake in front of her.


A year later was the big blow-out party at her church where approximately 100 people gathered to celebrate her 80th. And one of us had obtained a burn permit from the fire department for all of the candles ;).

In addition to those good memories I have lots of reminders hanging around the house, including some of the pictures she had painted years ago.

Lots of fabric (satin & lace shown here); more embroidery thread than I will ever use, even after giving some away; all of the satin yo-yos which she intended to make into a bedspread; some of her crocheted totes made from recycled plastic bags; and an abundance of crochet hooks with a few knitting needles thrown in for good measure.

And a few things still in her closet.

Good memories everywhere I look; none of these things bring me pain or sadness & I hope they won't for others who miss her. They remind me of a life well lived, an abundance of years filled to the brim and the fact that she is now living a much better life than she could have ever imagined.

p.s. if any family members can use or want something that was once hers please give me a call.

Back Home

We were gone for five days and it seems like two weeks.

We were in Portland for Mom's memorial service. It was really nice and very well attended. There were so many people there that we hadn't seen for a long time, and not nearly enough time to visit with them all. This makes me sad.

Driving through northern California we saw the biggest flock of birds you can imagine, it consisted of at least 2 different kinds of birds. (ducks, we think) If anyone knows what these are please leave me a comment. This photo shows only a few of the thousands that were flying around.

It snowed our first morning in Oregon.


The scenery was beautiful, partly because of the lighting.

We, and our kids, played tourist in downtown Portland for about a day & a half. That was fun but we ate way too much good food. And, I made Channel 8 News - it was opening day for the Saturday Market, they were covering it and stopped us to "ask a few questions".

This is at Dan & Louie's Oyster Bar. We stopped here for lunch after the Saturday Market, the food was very, very good.

Other food stops were Voodoo Doughnut, Deschutes Brewery, Typhoon, Henry's Tavern, & Rib City. We also visited at Peet's, Starbucks, the Horse Brass Pub and Creekside Restaurant in Canyonville.

life goes on

On Wednesday of this week, just a little past noon, my mother passed away. She had been under hospice care for about 5 weeks, in our home. And while she is no longer "here", I am convinced more than ever that her life goes on. A stronger, more real life than she (or we) could ever know on this earth.

I will miss her, but I do not mourn. She had been suffering for more than a year and through that suffering I saw her change for the better. I saw more of her sense of humor than ever before in my life. In spite of pain she was more at peace than I had ever seen her. She was more tolerant than I could remember and better able to express her love. I realize more fully now that suffering does refine us.

I am grateful for the seven months Mom lived in our home. I am also grateful for the fact that she died here; it had to happen somewhere; it was a privilege to witness and experience that with her. As I've said before, God is good, all the time; this is more real to me today than ever before.

And life goes on.

improvement

Things are looking up.

Mom is doing better, especially her thought process. I'm sure that adjusting to a major switch in meds (going off of several & adding others) caused a few days of turmoil within her body & her mind. She is still weak, but has been more her old self the past couple of days. I am thankful for that.

I'm also thankful that I sold a pillow on Etsy (see picture in earlier post). It is my first sale & has prompted me to work on some new things; some to keep, some for gifts & some to sell. Creative projects help me cope with being home so much of the time.

Now if I could just get motivated to clean the house. I guess that will happen when the next house guests are due to arrive. We are looking forward to Bruce, Joe, Kari & Sam early in February and then Dawn later in the month. I love having company.

Nine days later...

Well, there has been no time for projects this week.

I can't believe it has only been 9 days since we got Mom's diagnosis. It's been crazy but we are settling into a new routine & it is working. The new medications are primarily to keep her comfortable and free from pain, but they also mess with her mind and stamina. Two weeks ago she was up and about even getting out of the house once or twice a week, now she spends the majority of the time in bed and just getting a shower is a major accomplishment. I now feel like a full time caregiver; prior to this it was more of a companion roll.

The past three days have been gloomy, rainy & windy; and that has matched the mood inside, as well. I had major concerns regarding Mom's condition but today we have sunshine and Mom has a bit more strength & her mind is clearer. I'm thinking that they might just go hand in hand. Gloom inside & out!

I'm sad that I won't be able to attend church, Wednesday night Bible Study or any kind of social functions in the foreseeable future; but then again, short of getting someone in to sit with Mom so I can go out, I'm not wanting or anticipating that to change anytime soon.

crazy times

The past couple of weeks are a blur. DOCTORS, medication, hospital, biopsy, more doctors, diagnosis, HOSPICE, more medication, family, more FAMILY, more hospice... and now quiet, dealing with paperwork & schedules. But first (maybe) a nap.

I am thankful that: Mom is here, not in Gresham; we have a church & caring church family; Dianne & John were available to come on such short notice; our kids could be here for dinner on Sunday; I have a husband who just takes everything is stride; and most of all that we have a loving GOD who is in control...so I don't have to be.

time for a new post

It has been 2 weeks; so I guess I should post something new. The past week has been a bit crazy. Mom had some lab work done & a follow up dr. appt. a week ago (Monday). As a result of that appointment more labs & a CT scan were ordered. The dr's office called Tuesday afternoon (after the CT scan) to say they wanted her in again on Wednesday morning -- only to send her across the street to the hospital where she has been ever since. Initially it was supposed to be a 24 to 48 hour stay; but things get bogged down & the world of medicine moves rather slowly here. In addition to the CT scan & blood work (at least 2x); She has had a urinalysis; a transfusion; an ultrasound of the carotid arteries; oxygen; and finally, today, a biopsy. That leaves just a stress test to be done, as far as we know; it is scheduled for tomorrow. We should have biopsy results by Wednesday and with that the recommendations for treatment.

We are so glad that she is here with us and isn't going through this while living alone in Gresham. It is also a blessing that I do not have a job (strange as that sounds) and am available to do what is required for her sake at this point.

I'm happy that I had already gotten our Christmas decorating done before all this started; but not the cards. I may still get to them...but then again, I may not.

boxes, boxes & more boxes!

The garage is full! The house is slowly filling up as well. Mom is unpacking a few boxes a day and what doesn't fit in her room is either migrating into another area of the house or (more often) going back into boxes for either a future garage sale or donation to a charity. Oh, and some is simply being thrown out, so the trash cans are filling up too. It is going well, but feels as if we will be plodding through boxes for a very long time.
We are amazed that the move is otherwise completed. And we hadn't even planned to be into the packing up stage yet!

Many thanks to Jerry & Pat, Dianne & John, Erich, & anyone else who helped make it happen. God is good as we continue to make adjustments to the new living arrangements. One of the next steps is to get Mom set up with a local doctor (or doctors). And then there is the task of getting the condo sold - from a distance.

busy times & celebrations

I am finally getting around to a new post. It has been busy & time just slips by.

We had planned to go to Gresham the first of October to get my mom moved permanently to our house, she has been with us since the end of July. Last week my sisters (& their husbands) decided they would take on this overwhelming responsibility. They have spent several days packing and will finish up this weekend. Pat & Jerry will drive a rental truck down, arriving on Sunday. In the meantime we are fielding phone calls regarding what is to be moved (or not); preparing for their arrival & making room for Mom's "stuff".

Tonight Mike & I will be out (in the bay area) celebrating a friend's birthday and then to an open house to celebrate the arrival of another friend's first grandchild. Today is also our 38th wedding anniversary, but for now, celebrating that gets put on the back burner.

Tomorrow our kids are coming out to spend the day with us and then have a BBQ (at our house) with friends from this area.


Last but not least, a photo: We are now enjoying the company of hummingbirds in our backyard.